That word people struggle with saying is “no”.
If you really think about it, it’s one of the first words we learn to say. The first three words uttered out of most babies mouths is “mama”, “dada”, and “no”. They say it to everything. Try to take something from them, they’ll certainly yell, “NO!” Try to make them eat something they don’t want, they’re going to scream, “NO!” Try to put them in the bed when they are fighting sleep, issa “NO!”
Somewhere along the way, most people develop a people pleasing habit and lose that “No” savagery that we so gracefully used as babies. There’s a real guilt associated with that word that causes people to feel obligated to say anything other than, “No”.
We all do it but unfortunately, I believe that women struggle with saying “no” more than men — or at least that’s been my observation. I’m sure that a lot of the social pressures placed on women are the reason for this. In business, when women are decisive and inflexible, they’re literally called bitches. When men are the same, we’re praised.
It’s such an important word to learn to use frequently and unapologetically. It’s the single most useful word in protecting your energy and prioritizing your own wants and needs over everyone else’s. You should carry it around in your bag of words and whip it out often.
When someone asks something of us that we don’t want to do or — worse yet — don’t have the capacity to do, honesty in that moment, is always better than appeasing. It’s especially important to learn to say “no” as an entrepreneur. Here’s why…
- You won’t have to stress about how to get out of doing what you agreed to do.
- You won’t over extend yourself by spending your precious time doing something you don’t really want to do.
- You don’t have to worry about disappointing that person later when you back out of the agreement.
- Your word is your bond.
- You become empowered when you realize the world won’t end when you tell someone “No”.
- People begin to expect and respect your honesty, however brutal it is.
- You become less of a people pleaser in other aspects of life.
- You learn not to take it personal when other people tell you “No”.
- People stop asking you to do things that are just downright disrespectful — like asking for discounts and free stuff.
- You just feel much better about yourself.
Don’t be afraid to tell people “no”. It’s a small word that packs a lot of power. Using it does not make you mean, a bitch, or insensitive, and more often than not, people appreciate candor over fake shit. So relearn how to say “no” with the savagery of a baby who only knows three words.