In the podcast episode I recorded yesterday, Dream Big Like You Did As a Child, I discussed how important it is for us to dispel limiting beliefs (beliefs that hold us back from doing the things we dream of doing) so that we can dream unrestricted — the way we did as children — and achieve our wildest entrepreneurial dreams.
I told you about a male friend of mine who wanted to be a nurse, but didn’t pursue a career in nursing, out of high school, because of what his father thought of the profession. After his father passed away, he went back to school and became a nurse, but his father had imposed a limiting belief on him that could have kept him from ever fulfilling what he knew was his purpose.
At the end of yesterday’s podcast episode, I asked you to make a list of the limiting beliefs that have held you back from owning the business you’ve always wanted. If you haven’t already done so, take a minute to do that. From here, we’ll discuss those beliefs and how to debunk them so that you are free to dream bigger and pursue what you truly want to do in life.
Let’s look at some of the most common types of limiting beliefs and how we can eliminate them from our thoughts.
Beliefs that were imposed on you by your parents.
This is probably the biggest source of most people’s limiting beliefs. The way you were raised, what your parents taught you to believe, and what you actually witnessed them do all contributes to your limiting beliefs.
As was the case with my friend, your parents may have had expectations for how you would live your life that you actually ended up living up to in order to please them. Or maybe you even did the exact opposite of what they wanted you to do in an effort to rebel against their rules.
If you have limiting beliefs that are a result of you trying to please or displease your parents, you need to be honest with yourself about it and make the decision to do what it is that you truly want to do in life. It’s extremely hard to know that you are disappointing your parents, but you only get one life and you have to live it for you.
Beliefs you adopted from friends or significant others.
Have you ever had a friend or significant other who could finish your sentences for you and you could finish theirs? The old saying, you are the company you keep, is true. When you spend a significant amount of time with someone, you end up adopting habits and thoughts similar to theirs.
So if you’re friends with people who aren’t motivated or who have thoughts that hold them back, you end up being the same way. It’s even possible that you’ve dated someone who told you that you couldn’t do something or that an idea you had was a bad one.
If your circle is unambitious and can’t support you in your ambitions, you need to find a new circle. Identify limiting beliefs that come from your friends and understand that they are a result of that person’s limitations in life — not yours.
Beliefs you hold because of your circumstances or environment.
Oftentimes, our limiting beliefs can come from our circumstances or our environment. If you grew up in an impoverished neighborhood, you may subconsciously believe that you can’t have better — because you’ve never known anything else.
Or maybe you believe that you can’t start your dream business, because you work long hours, have children, or because you don’t have the money and resources to do so. If you have these types of limiting beliefs, you need to understand that where there’s a will, there’s a way. Start small with what you have now and use your current position to your advantage. So many other people have started businesses with as little as you have. Surely, you can too.
Beliefs you hold because of past traumatic experiences.
Sometimes trauma in our lives leaves us with limiting beliefs that are much more deeply embedded than we realize. If you’ve gone through a traumatic experience, talking to a professional therapist is really important. This may help you uncover and dispel limiting beliefs that you don’t even realize you have.
Beliefs you hold because you blame someone else.
I’m a staunch believer in people — including myself — owning their shit. In other words, you’re responsible for your own life. It’s a fact that things will happen to you that are out of your control and may be facilitated by the actions of someone else. That’s life.
In those situations, you may not be able to control what happened to you, but you can control how you respond to it or what you do about it. When we play the blame game and fault others with our positions in life, we miss out on valuable time to create a solution.
If your limiting beliefs are a result of you blaming someone for your current state of being, it’s important that you take responsibility for your life right now and make the decision to let go of the blame.
Beliefs you hold because you don’t honor yourself.
Sometimes we have limiting beliefs because we put everyone else before ourselves. Mothers and caretakers are notorious for this. People who do this, usually believe that if they take time for themselves, they are taking time away from their loved ones and that their loved ones will suffer as a result.
Here’s the thing. If you don’t live the best life that you can live, how will you help your children or spouse or anyone else live the best life that they can live? Is your suffering really helping whoever you’re sacrificing for? The answer is probably, no.
If you are not honoring yourself, it’s important that you find a way to do so. If you have to, start small and give yourself a few minutes every day. It’s vital to your own happiness and essential theirs.
As you can see, limiting beliefs can take root in our minds and hold us back without us even realizing they’re there. Really think hard about all the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, and do the work to remove those beliefs so that you can move forward in pursuing your dreams and building the life you want. You’ll be glad you did!