One of my IG friends asked me a question, about the post above, that I absolutely love. To paraphrase his question, he asked how I know that your family and friends aren’t truly just hating on you. So I want to share my opinion about that here.

Family and (fake) friends can absolutely be haters. Sometimes people truly don’t want to see you do better than them. They’re envious that you’re doing what they wish they could or what they’re afraid to do. Their hate, or lack of support, is really a reflection of how they see themselves, and there’s not a lot you can do about that. Sometimes people realize that they’re doing this and they correct that behavior. If someone you truly love and want to have a relationship with is doing this, talk to them and tell them. Maybe you can encourage them to pursue their own dreams and they’ll stop hating on yours.

In other cases, the people we’re close to are reluctant to support our growth or success in life, because they are afraid of change. They can see that you are no longer interested in what you used to be interested in, or they can see that your priorities are shifting, and that makes them afraid of where it will leave them in your life. It’s pure selfishness. Most people get comfortable with the way life is, even when it’s miserable, and they don’t welcome change with open arms. If you suspect this is the case, be patient with your loved one and communicate openly with them about it. If they truly love you, they’ll eventually come around.

And then there are times when your family and friends don’t believe in you or what you’re doing. If they’ve seen you try a lot of different things, or if they think you’re full of shit, there’s a good chance they won’t get behind your vision. It may not even be that they think you’re full of shit though. They may have the type of mindset that makes them think that they could never achieve greatness. If they don’t even believe in themselves, why would they ever believe in you?

For the most part, the friends and family who truly love you but don’t show support for your business, just don’t know how to support you. If they haven’t done it, they don’t understand how hard it is mentally, emotionally and financially to start a business. They don’t understand that when no one else is checking for you, you need them to be. It’s possible that they look at you and think you have it all together, even though you may be falling apart inside. Talk to your family and friends and tell them exactly how they can support you. You’ll be surprised at how many people didn’t realize you feel the way you do about their support. 

Lastly, I want to talk about the fact that sometimes our egos make us mistakenly assume that our family and friends aren’t showing support and/or are hating on us. Be careful not to do this. If you trust this family member or friend and they’ve never given you a reason to suspect that they don’t want to see you do well in life, ask yourself a few questions.

Is it possible that they don’t support you because they truly just lack interest in what it is that you’re doing? 

Do you really have a great product or service?

Have you shown them support in their endeavors?

Are you mistaking constructive criticism or honest feedback for hate?

I remember back in the day, I used to love to watch American Idol auditions because it was pure comedy. When some of the worst singers would come on and perform for the judges, I can’t tell you how many times I heard people say, “Where is that person’s friends?” or “Where was their family when they decided they wanted to audition?” They were suggesting that no one had ever told those horrible singers that they couldn’t sing, but maybe someone had and that person just took it as hate.

Like I said, family and friends can absolutely be haters.

Typically, you know who those family members are who would hate on you. If you sense them hating on your current endeavor or your growth, avoid feeding into the hate. Ignore them. While we can’t choose who are family is, we can choose whether or not we give them space in our lives.

We can also choose who our friends are. If you think a friend is hating on you, they aren’t really your friend. Before you go around cutting people off though, be introspective. It’s great that you’re experiencing growth, but are you being rude or condescending and alienating the people around you in the process?

Communication rules the nation and when you suspect that you’re experiencing hate from someone you love, your best bet is to talk to them right away. Don’t let negative energy swell up in you, when it’s possible that you’re misinterpreting the other person’s energy.

Whether you believe a family member or a friend is hating on you or not, you should chase your dreams no matter what. Even if you dream of singing and you absolutely suck, do what’s in your heart. You have to. The worst thing in the world to have is regrets, so listening to other people is not always the right move. You have to live with the decisions you make and the chances you don’t take, so don’t let other people deter you.

If this article helped you, feel free to hit me up on Instagram or Facebook and let me know.

Also, listen to my Master Your Mission podcast on iTunes, Spotify, and Google Play Music for daily motivation and inspiration to pursue your dreams.