In my last podcast episode, How Feedback Can Help You Grow in Life & Entrepreneurship, I made the point that feedback and advice from the people we trust in our personal lives can be as valuable as reviews can be in business. That advice can help us find opportunities to make improvements in life that we need to make in order to grow — just like in business.
It takes a very open minded person with a strong desire to grow to accept criticism and advice gracefully, but I don’t think that it is a good idea to just blindly accept all advice and feedback that comes your way. Not all advice is good advice and not all advisers have your best interests in mind. Knowing when to accept advice and when to reject it is just as important as being open to it in the first place.
There are times when you must determine whether or not you should take someone’s advice or incorporate their feedback into your life. Here are some questions you can consider as you make your decision.
Does the person offering you advice know you well?
Not that a complete stranger can’t offer up great advice that could really help you grow in life — Oprah gives us all advice that somehow never seems to be bad — but you have to weigh how much a personal relationship matters as it relates to the topic the person is advising you on. When people like Oprah, Tony Robbins, and even me (see what I did there?) give advice, it’s usually general and can apply to many people for many situations. Advice from strangers is also usually based on that person’s own personal experiences.
When someone you know intimately gives you advice, the personal relationship you have with them can be a double edged sword. On one hand, that person may give better advice because they know more about you or your situation. On the other hand, that person may give worse advice because they look at you through a skewed lens or they might be less likely to be totally honest with you causing them to give you bad advice.
What is their motivation?
It could be useful to understand why the person is giving you advice in the first place. Do they have a stake in the outcome or the situation? Would they have any reason to steer you wrong?
It’s not likely that you’re taking advice from your sworn enemies, but even close friends can be influenced by external factors that lead them to give you bad advice. Consider whether the person giving you advice wants to see you win or maybe has ulterior motives.
Do they know much about the situation or topic on which they are offering advice?
To give good advice, a person doesn’t always have to be an expert at what they are advising you on, but there are times when expertise is important. If a person has actually had experience with what they are telling you, that makes their advice even more valuable.
Don’t be afraid to ask the person questions to determine whether they’re advising you from personal experience or from a less knowledgeable position.
What is your intuition telling you about their advice?
It’s always important to listen to your intuition. Being open minded about using advice to find opportunities for growth doesn’t mean that you should dismiss what your own gut tells you to do. If someone gives advice that doesn’t align with your beliefs or values, you have to dismiss that advice.
When you get advice, most times you’ll have a strong feeling to either accept the advice and incorporate it into your life or not. Whatever your intuition tells you, go with that. Just be sure that you’re actually listening to your gut and not just being fearful or resistant to change.
Is taking the person’s advice even realistic?
Sometimes someone can give you advice that you’d like to take but you can’t. Like maybe the timing is bad or you don’t have the resources to actually do what they’ve suggested. In this case, it may be helpful to make a mental note of what they’ve given you and pursue it at a later date or to incorporate pieces of their advice into your life.
Being open minded about accepting feedback and advice allows us to find opportunities in our lives for personal growth. That feedback can give you an honest view of what your life looks like from the outside in and can be really valuable.
Although you may be resistant to listening to criticism or advice initially, feedback makes us better as people the same way feedback makes us better in business. Using the questions I’ve given you here should make weeding out the bad advice from the good advice a much easier process.